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True beauty

It’s not exquisite clothes that make you look and feel good,

It’s what you do to your body to maintain its health the best you can.

It’s not skillful makeup which makes you beautiful,

It’s the kindness, love and care you exude through your thoughts, words, and actions.

So help me God.

~Verna

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I believe in me.

It’s interesting when you are dealing with two very different crowds…

One which is actually super intelligent — they are genuine in their feedback, and always help you to improve. One which you feel comfortable being vulnerable with, one which you are comfortable being inferior to. Because you feel like you can only go upwards with their guidance.

The other one think that they are better than anyone else — this is a crowd which I felt being judged, criticised and ridiculed. However, funnily enough I don’t feel inferior towards them.. because I know I am not, and whatever they do should not make me believe less in myself. But that’s easier said than done, though, because this is the crowd I would feel hurt and stressed out by.

I should really remember always, that whatever I do is for the glory of God, not myself, and for the service of others. That way, doesn’t matter which crowd I have to mix with — I just have to keep improving myself for these purposes.

I hope I will always remember that. 🙂

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Lament

Feeling all the grief and sorrow
We live life with shadows in our hearts and minds,
with tears that wait to fall when sorrow in the world is more than we can truly bear.
We hear the cries of children,
we see death cast shadows on their hearts and minds,
as mothers in their grief stand crying,
weeping, weeping, crying, crying,
weeping, weeping for this world.
On our bed of thorns such sorrow must surely end,
our tears can wash away the sins of the world, no more crying, weeping, weeping, crying, crying, weeping, weeping in this world, this world.

~Carol Barratt

❤ Karl Jenkin’s setting to this beautiful poem.

C'est la vie

Shouldn’t I be happy?

After passing probably the most difficult examination in my academic life so far, shouldn’t I be happy? Well I guess I was, for a while, until events in the other realm took a turn. I don’t know why – maybe I’m clueless that way, not knowing what to do or say sometimes, not knowing what would offend people.

I feel awful for what I’ve done and said. I have no clue and I’m worried about what others think of me. But again, I always worry on such things. The perfectionist in me often takes over; the need for acceptance often overwhelms me.

Please help me, God. Please guide me. Please guide my thoughts, my words and my actions.

 

C'est la vie

Sometime tolerance can go out the door.

I pride myself to be quite a tolerant person. Quite.

Hey, I still kept that friendship when I had to shoulder things that I shouldn’t have done. Things that YOU should have done instead.

I let you relax and do whatever you want.

But my tolerance has limits, of course. You should know lines that you should not have crossed. When you have crossed the line – I have to react. I have to protect myself too. I can’t shoulder all your wrongdoings.

And there I went – I stand up for the truth. Although I know it must have hurt you, I stood up for my truth and my values. And I will not apologize for that.

And there I am now – standing up for the truth again. I have to protect what’s right, when everybody is too scared to tell the truth about you.

But there you are now – attacking me. Calling me hypocrite. Questioning my faith and my values.

So I want you to know that I take this quite hard. I can’t deal with this at the moment. But don’t worry, I will bounce and rise above this.

And I will wish you luck.

P.s. I think you should be the one who apologizes. Not to me, but to all of us. And perhaps look at the mirror of your own values. Meanwhile – I will certainly try to forgive. That’s what I’m taught, anyway.

 

 

C'est la vie

Trustworthiness

Please tell me how to trust someone… I have just begun to trust a friend, but she in the end she spilled my secrets twice over. Worse still – to someone who can’t keep their mouth shut to anyone. So there it is – my failure is out in the open for everyone to judge.

I’m upset, definitely.

And don’t know what to do from here on out.

=(